Natural Parenting Newsletter Archives
You can't change your children
To all you fine parents...
The WORK of Parenting
You can't change your children, or anyone else for that matter.
Think about all of the ways you wish you could change your kids...
-I wish he didn't want to eat candy all the time
-He should be sleeping through the night by now
-She shouldn't be nursing this much
-They should listen to me
-He should do his homework without being asked
-She should put away her toys by herself
-They should help me with dinner when I ask
-I wish they didn't fight.
But, the truth is: they do, they are, they don't.
Accept reality for what it is. Stop your own suffering and stress caused by thinking things should be different than they are.
Our children are the best teachers we will ever know because they are constantly showing us what we still need to learn. Anything that bothers us, that causes frustration, annoyance, anger, sadness, is a flashing alert notice: ATTITUDE CHANGE NEEDED HERE
Here's an example.
"My kids always leave their laundry on the floor and it drives me crazy. I've told them a thousand times...."
Yep. They don't care about laundry on the floor. You do.
"Yeah but they should be more considerate of me. I work so hard around the house."
No they shouldn't. They are being exactly who they are supposed to be. Whatever you want them to be is probably just what you need to be for yourself.
"I should be more considerate of me."
Yes, absolutely be more considerate of yourself. Give yourself what you are needing and wanting from others. And...the laundry will only be picked up by you, because you are the one who cares about that. Pick up the laundry out of loving consideration for yourself.
You can't change your children. As far as I can tell, any method we use to try to change them, causes harm. Our children are being who they are, doing what they are doing, and that's exactly what is supposed to be happening.
There is tremendous freedom to be gained from shifting your perspective and stepping into the flow of your life, the way that it is.
This newsletter was inspired by Byron Katie's "The Work".
Feeleez empathy game now available.
With more love than you can imagine...
kris
2008 kris laroche : all rights reserved