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yoodles of empathy
Hello friends
yoodles of empathy
According to my husband, who completed a degree in finance, yoodles are an economic measure of joy. I don't know how it's calculated, but the concept makes remarkable sense to me. Think about your first sip of tea (or coffee) in the morning and how amazing it is, compared to your last sip. First sip: very high yoodles. Last sip, hardly any.
In the world of parenting, offering empathy to children is very high in yoodles. It is, in fact, the most important thing we can ever do to develop emotional intelligence and contribute to our children's emotional well-being.
Yet, very few people are skilled at offering genuine empathy. Here is some insight about what empathy is NOT...
advising..."I think you should"
educating..."This could turn into something positive for you"
consoling..."It wasn't your fault"
story-telling..."That reminds me of when"
shutting down..."Cheer up. Don't feel so bad"
sympathizing..."You poor thing"
interrogating..."When did this begin?"
correcting..."That's not what happened"*
"Empathy IS a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing." It requires us to empty our minds and to tune in to our children with our whole beings. We must eliminate all of our judgments and personal opinions about what is happening. We need to be completely present and willing to BE WITH what is.
More than anything we say to our children, genuine empathy is a quality of how we are connecting with them in the moment. Sometimes the most powerful form of empathy is silent.
Practice with your friends and partners and ask for feedback from them. Listen closely to what is being said as well as to the possible feelings and needs behind the words.
We are developing a game to help parents and children learn empathy. Contact me to add your name to the waiting list and we will let you know when they are ready.
*taken from "Nonviolent Communication" M. Rosenberg
lovingly,
kris
2007 kris laroche : all rights reserved