Natural Parenting Newsletter Archives
More sleep please
hello friends.
more sleep, please.
when our babies first came into our lives, we nurtured ourselves and others supported us in doing this. people encouraged us to take naps and brought us food, if we were so blessed. even if we weren't, it seems that most new parents are willing to step out of 'normal' life, realizing the importance of slowing down and letting the magnitude of parenthood sink in.
then, somewhere along the way, different expectations creep in and we may even feel pressured to get on with it and get back to it.
when our children turn six weeks or six months or sixteen, we think...
-i shouldn't still be tired
-it shouldn't still be so hard
-she should be sleeping more
-i should be able to get more done
-i should be able to handle this
-everyone else is doing better than i am
we beat ourselves up with expectations and that isn't helpful for ourselves or our children, especially when it comes to sleep.
most north americans are chronically sleep deprived and if you have children, this is certainly the case. no matter how old your children are, surely your sleep is interrupted on a regular basis. many parents seek a solution by trying to manipulate their children's sleep patterns. this can be frustrating because even the best selling get-your-baby/child-to-sleep advice rarely works and can be harmful to children.
instead, i strongly advocate for making changes to YOUR sleep patterns (or, more accurately, your GETTING THINGS DONE patterns). here are some practical tips for you:
1. make napping a priority. it doesn't matter how old your children are, you will benefit from naps. even if this means simply a quiet lying down time every few days. stop making excuses about how much there is to get done (that may never change!) and honour your body and mind (and spirit)'s need for rest.
2. go to bed early at least once a week. i know that you crave the adult time you get in the evenings after the kids are down, but those hours before midnight are precious and rejuvinating.
3. say "no" so that you "do" less. you will only experience joyful balance when you do less and that requires saying no...to others, to activities, to projects, to work, to anything that takes you away from the top priorities in your life. (it helps to get very clear on exactly what these are for you.) and your children can only benefit from any space you create in the family schedule.
4. don't compare and don't evaluate. instead of thinking "it shouldn't be like this"...repeat the mantra "this is how it is supposed to be". whether your three year old wakes 6 times in the night, or your newborn never naps, let go of the idea that anything should be other than what it is. this idea is much less popular than..."here is how to fix your child who never sleeps" advice, and believe me, i understand the appeal. just trust that there is no secret out there that you are missing out on. children wake up a lot. period.
it is possible for you to experience greater peace and fulfillment when you embrace things as they are, stay vigilantly tuned into what is happening for you moment to moment, and have faith that there is always a way to lovingly meet your own needs and your children's.
sleep may be the most important form of self-care.
Feeleez empathy game now available.
With more love than you can imagine...
kris
2008 kris laroche : all rights reserved