Natural Parenting Newsletter Archives
put yourself on a GOOD diet
Hi friends:
put yourself on a GOOD diet.
Picture this scene: we are at a park, playing with our kids together.
After watching you interact with your child, I say to you, "Wow. You are a really GOOD parent."
How would you feel?
My guess is pretty great. Who couldn't use a little recognition now and then?
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. Now imagine that I am watching you with your children again, but this time I don't say anything. What would that be like? Sure, maybe it's not big deal, but for most of us, you might feel slightly less buoyant than you did with the praise. You start to put your attention more on what the other person might be thinking. This is even more dramatic when we praise our children.
The long term impact of praise is the loss of natural self.
Put yourself on a GOOD diet and notice the impact.
Celebrating as your children learn is genuine and fun, just remove the judgment to keep it clean. Instead, try the following:
1. State an observation. "You just climbed that step! Wow, you have a huge smile right now!"
2. Children have a need to be seen, so say just that. "I see you!" when your child looks to you for recognition.
3. Make any comment about your child, not about you. "I'm proud of you" is actually about you, and may not serve your child as well as you'd like. Instead, go back to point number 1.
Play with the GOOD diet and let me know what happens. Email your discoveries to me at kris@krislaroche.com
Are you willing to believe that children's true nature is already GOOD? Enjoy being witness to who your child is becoming and trust...trust...TRUST.
More natural parenting resources here.
Blessings,
Kris
2007 kris laroche : all rights reserved